Meal Ticket To Purgatory

by The Van Allen Belt

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    Meal Ticket To Purgatory (LP)
    Superpowerfragilis: Or How I Learned To Stop Caring And Love The Drug (LP)
    Vancouver And All The Reasons Why (EP)

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    artwork by Jess VanSteenburgh

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"Clever, witty, morally outraged lyrics over a complex and stylish and psychadelic journey through pop history. Like the Mamas and the Papas joined Crass in the Wu Tang's yard. The richness of the material is let down by the audio quality - to capture that kind of sound just takes gear that they obviously don't have. I love it."
- Jono Podmore

"In general this is pure mental brilliance."
-Matthew, Song By Toad

"A reverberating soup, a low-fi version of Phil Spector's 'wall of sound.' Songs range from Motown girl-group pop to gauzy, synth-laden ballads, from playful to soulful, from nostalgic to sharp-tongued."
-Aaron Jentzen, Pittsburgh City Paper


released 18 June 2007

Tamar Kamin- Vocals
Martine Mancini- Vocals
Benjamin K. Ferris- Keyboard, Guitar, Sampling
Scott Taylor- Drums

All songs written and produced by B.K. Ferris
Artwork by Jessica Van Steenburgh
Mastered by Mike Jantho at Steel City Mastering

(C)(P) 2007
Nonstop Everything Records



all rights reserved


feeds for this album, this artist


The Van Allen Belt Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

The Van Allen Belt is impossible to categorize, luscious to listen to. This isn't your typical trippy, psychedelic music ― this is unique.


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Track Name: Dr. Laymans Terms

Womb and breast
Heard her all night weeping
I confessed
Off my chest while sleeping
Not a fool
Fool of sin and more, too
In the pool
Pushed him down
He drowned, you know

Wash away carcass germs
Dr. Layman’s Terms

Try to smile in photos
Taken while
Hiding vile confessions
Oddest bet
Preacher’s pet put poison
In the snack
Watch how Jack is gonna die

Wash away carcass germs
Dr. Layman’s Terms
Track Name: The Hills Are Alive

Had a lovely evening go to bed I say
Must be up for work by 6 am tomorrow
I mean today
It is tomorrow by the way
Darling, go to sleep
Please, no what the bleep are you doing
Oh stop it not there
This isn’t a good idea
Why don’t you care

My little girl in the hill of the squirrel is a-keepin’ me up in my bed
She’s makin’ me say all this stupid shit I never said
Tired as hell in the morning at work now my mind can do nothing but stay
When push comes to shove ah I guess I’m in you know what what was I trying to say?

How bout taking some perkies for your ill condition
You wanted to play doctor, her’s your doctor’s permission
Count some petty sheep
Sleep is getting deep you’re getting sleepy, getting sleepy
No you’re not

My little muse in the hoard of the jews is a-keepin’ me up until dawn
I’d share you a thought but the one that I’ve got is a-hum oh no, where has it gone
Tired as hell in the morning at work every day
When push comes to shove aw I Guess I’m in you know what, what was I trying to say?

You won’t be satisfied until my brain is fried
There’s no sense in talking, I’ve tried and tried

My little girl in the hill of the squirrel is a-breakin’ my will like a twig
So is this a test of how minimal rest can make rational folkies go wig?
Tired as hell in the morning at work every day
When push comes to shove aw I guess I’m in you know what, what was I trying to say?
Track Name: The River Hive

Help yourself to some evidence
Shameful address, I have this one hour
Close my eyes watch the movie
It’s alarming me as I expect
All the guns all the violence
Violins serenade sacred showers
Funny draft blowing frames of glass
Shift rooms with a view they reflect
All the trivia disappears

Catch the drift off from burger town
Met with fire and grid rooms unwelcome
Softball leagues for the families of dysfunction that I know so well
The winds came out for a while and they teased me and blew my thoughts away
Snowball breaks up a pyramid
It’s a psychedelic Terry Malick Sunday

The world will end like great sex
The world will end in your car
It’s the fantastic vortex of energy that we are
So anyway
All the trivia disappears
Track Name: Way Up

Sunlight hits me
Take a drag
And kiss this Monday on the lips
Spend it in a plastic bag
Aw, after all I’ve earned my tips
A party with my memories
I’ll host it like a Scottish queen
Snorting possibilities
Just a short ends to a mean
I’ll hide from you and hope you die
My handkerchief is fucking dry
Kept safe for when I depart
For losing me will break my heart
When you show what will you find
Laughter at your very site
Of all the fears that ail my mind I think I fear your love tonight
Cause your love is harder than knuckles

You won’t reach me
I’m way up
No you won’t reach me
I’m way up

So you’re a temp and I’m a fling
This will be our seventh fall
An accident like everything
Everything that I recall
And recollection flees from me
I think I was how I will be
Lost in sighs of after all
I have no cash to feed my doll
Or is it an actual living baby?

You won’t reach me
I’m way up
No you won’t reach me
I’m way up

I just hope you’re in time for dinner
Track Name: So It Goes

Give a lot of goodiness
Give sincerity
Ain’t got nothing else
Save the itty biggest fall for the team
Make believe I’m like the president
Or someone dumb like that
Or someone else
You know it’s fuckin’ free
It’s fuckin’ free to dream

Pay check to pay check I surface for air
Eighty-six dignity
There’s none to prepare

A true to life reflection on a greasy spoon
I could’ve been a better wife to Gene
Another night of this could be suicide
Won’t someone please treat me decently?

The only thing I’m good for is tending to you
You’re good at a lot of things that I’ll never do

But someday I’ll be hopping on to that plane
And when I do
I’m sure I won’t
I can’t even think of a better place
And so it goes
So it goes
So it goes

I’ll just drink till I die
I doubt you’d even cry

But someday I’ll be hopping on to that plane
And when I do
I’m sure I won’t
I can’t even think of a better place
And so it goes
So it goes
So it goes

They say the limit’s the sky
I’ll give nothing a try
Track Name: Alaska Dreamin'

New song, same tune
I’m light years away from wealth
And misery loves companies that don’t insure your health
Got me a job with my Chevrolet
Now I drive all night
And sleep all day
Shitty like the road design of S’liberty
But I’m broke as the Pittsburgh city treasury
Lord knows my film career ain’t on the rise
Delivering these doughy cheesy saucy pies

Got no loot but my boss tells me I have the wrong kind of pants
I’ll just dumpster dive like Andalusia
Cause whoring to the public is a fucking blast
Like checking a package in Fallujah
Summertime got me in the worst of moods
Sick of the children and the horny dudes
Hotter than an orgy in Ecuador
Sweat flows to the floor and it pour and it pours

I’m-a I’m-a I’m Alaska dreamin’
My-a my-a windows are steamin’

May not have the patience for this kind of thing after all
CMU mother fucker, would you mother fucking answer my call?!

Back in the shop and it’s hotter still
It’s gone up ten degrees from an hour ago
This job was just a practical joke and I told ‘em so just to let ‘em know
Folks don’t even give a shit about the time
Everyone smokes trees like every other place
I get to see the funniest things you see
The joke could be on me but that isn’t the case

I’m-a I’m-a I’m Alaska dreamin’
My-a my-a windows are steamin’

The rivers have the breath of a bitchy dragon
And I'm on my knees and begging to the god of frost
Made a wrong turn at the boulevard
My shit's an hour late and I'm so fucking lost

Midnight, Homewood, you know I don't believe in prayer
But just beware, I pack a .45
A gun in your face makes your heartbeat race
But it puts you in check and makes you glad you're alive!

Placed my two weeks in the box
Track Name: Sorry
That lovely smile of yours
I don’t remember it
I don’t remember it

Your eyes
Your scented Hair
I don’t remember them
I don’t remember them

I forgot you fast
You’re just a flash in the past

That brilliant poem you wrote for me
I don’t remember it
I don’t remember it

Those times we talked all night
I don’t remember them
I don’t remember them

I forgot you fast
You’re just a flash in the past
Track Name: The Revolution Will Be Merchandised

And still the worst is yet to come
Heavy suspicion that we’re dumb
Maybe they’re right
Who on earth will fight?

Years and years have gone awry
Smoke keeps finding ways to fill the sky

And everything breaks in its right place
The beast has put on his saddest face
Cheered by congress
As if they think of us

Cowards who hide their faces
They live in different places
Far from the streets where kids get murdered on a daily basis
No claim of having a voice
We’ve never had a real choice
Those cost much more then we’ve got

You won’t believe how long the line will be
The revolution, sure as hell
Will be merchandised
The revolution, sure as hell
Will be merchandised

The monitor wants to see your pass
You are cutting the middle class
The day will come
You’ll rule a big slum

On one path the poor can still depend
Numbers always win it in the end

You sit in the classroom where they’ll choose you your heroes
You must get with the programming
United States of ones and zeros
Cows got bling so to it you bow
Dogs go arf and kitties go meow
Flags don’t say anything at all
Feelies will satisfy our comfort without an answer
Asia’s still working on a cure for the Roman Cancer
You can eat the sand they feed you
Just remember that they need you
Guns point at doubting Thomas
Have you bought your final promise?

You won’t believe how long the line will be
The revolution, sure as hell
Will be merchandised
Just like the last one sweetie
Track Name: How To Get Along Famously

Make some time for my company
It’s like a Western in here
And I make my point pretty clear
I’ve been saving this one for weeks
Suck a hoity toity well to do
And I’ll make the masses weep
I wear my smile like an evening gown and it’s always off when I sleep

Everybody’s eyes all over me
How to get along so famously

I can show you all the hottest spots let’s give this town a show
Gotta watch out for the papparats
Those pricks really love me you know
Magazines want to know where I shop
Some secrets can’t be told
I tell them that I want this war to stop
And they’re listening and listening and listening and listening

Still married but I lost the kids
Their funerals were tops
I got gifts and love and photo opps
I confess I confess I confess I confess
Track Name: Charity Sex

There was once a time when we used to jibber jabber on for hours and hours
Fornication every night then we’d do lunch and you’d bring flowers
We had lots of master plans
Master plans we planned in vain
When you decided you were better off
Stumbling down old memory lane

Go call your ex
Charity Sex
Go have a blast
Live with your past

You two marched on Washington
I can’t remember what that was for
But if she has such a bleeding heart
She should donate you for I am poor
But I was rich for a little time
Of seven months and sixteen days
Then that dumb bitch changed her mind
And rendered me a silly phase

She already ditched you for another man but I’d stay with you till my final breath
For I’d sooner move to Afghanistan where girls like me get stoned to death
She’d prefer to stay at home and make pretty faces in the mirror
But I’d do things with you that you didn’t even know were legal here

Being stepped on never felt so intimate
Things were up but now I guess I must forget
Track Name: Baby Boomer Backstroke

Mommy and Dad what has happened to you?
Show me the pictures of you getting fire hosed again
Changing the word and bringing in the new
I thought it was sweet the way you took to the street back then

Now your heads are filled with apathy
I guess that’s how it’s always gonna be

Cause you got made and you got paid
The devil’s deal, you got real
To me it seems really beat
That you sold your dreams on Wall Street

You talked of the mockery of our democracy
Someday you’d be older and then you would control it
We all heard the news about John , Martin, and Bobby
They got to you but they didn’t need a bullet

Now you don’t seem to have the slightest clue
You really think the TV news is true

So you took a nap
The charade is up
They fed you crap and you ate it up
To me it seems really beat that you sold your dreams on Wall Street
Track Name: I Can't Believe You Murdered Me

A memory
About my death
My final breath
Realized the surprise
Looked at you
I looked into your eyes
You were my friend
Brought my end
You were my friend
Brought my end
I can’t be scared
I came prepared
I can’t be scared
I came prepared
Have the same dream did you?

Pages later hopeless Cater
Airborne danger
Kindest stranger or not?
Could it be true?
Could it be you?
I always knew
You wanted to
It’s just a life
It’s just a life
It’s just a life
It’s just a life
I have one last thing to ask
I have one last thing to ask
I have one last thing to ask
Have the same dream did you?
Track Name: For the 20th Time

I begged the lips to kiss my eyes
To gobble up and shit the prize
I faced the past tense
Relation to the ship inside
The fool who takes the easy ride
And breaks the defense
A girly girl will never lift a finger
In the place of happenstance
Or nothing
The century is crawling now
Its first words were holy cow
And I’m still puffing

Love happens
Life crappens
I smoke a bowl
Not letting me find the hole
Best mind control

I even over advertized myself
Like I mean horny wise
I could catch you
In my web of cruel deceit
I play a trick
On every treat
And I would bet you
Thought about it every night
And tossed and turned
Until your flight
Because I let you
Have the way that you would have
That you would be to be so glad
That I had met you

I’ll find beauty on TV
After you’re gone
Inducing mind vision
Good for my time
Bad for my mind

I have an only child in me
It brought my sister jealousy
An early patter
And friendships won’t go very far
When my pupils always are
The size of Saturn

UI wish my dumb feelings
A super sentimental goodbye
Really fucking hard to cry
The tear ducts are dry

So long
I don’t need you anymore
I will show you to the door

Oops, have you seen my baggage anywhere?
Track Name: Best Way To Start The Day

Don’t think of much
Think of touching the skin of God
Caressing undressing
Already off I guess
Last night was second best
Goes without me to say
Best way to start the day

Don’t know what our future will bring
It’s not worth thought
Each day brings new choices
I like this one a lot
Troubles are so forgot

Goes without me to say
Best way to start the day

Greatest of sharing that one can assume
Religious conversion in my bedroom
And we can forget it all
Track Name: Purgatory School

Your heart stopped beating so it looks like you died
Now it’s time to go to class and swallow your pride
Cripples and peasants are now your teachers
And most of the janitors used to be preachers

You forgot the golden rule
So now you’re in purgatory school

Man oh man you gotta pass the test
If you want the great eternal recess
Be on your best behavior
Get your ass forgiven by your savior

If you’ve any decency you’ve nothing to fear
Well I guess if you were decent then you wouldn’t be here
Better be sure to pay close attention
Cause you sure as Hell don’t want a suspension

You slept through the parade
So now you better make the grade

All those extra stock shares won’t help
All those phony little prayers
They’re not gonna help

You only get one report card
So be sure to study hard
You’ll suffer a terrible fate
If you don’t graduate
Track Name: Dedicated To Someone

I’ll talk to anyone
I’ll dance with anyone
I’m not afraid of anyone
But you are not just anyone

You are not anyone

I joke around with everyone
I don’t go out of my way to spend Saturday nights with everyone
I get sick and tired of everyone
But you are not everyone

You are not everyone

You don’t listen to no one
You won’t date no one
You don’t care about no one
That’s why I hate being a no one

How does it feel to be someone?
Track Name: Love With A Ten Foot Pole

Those loves and fishes
Master card has bought a year
And everyone thinks it’s so delicious I hear
Gotta be stern with that eminent man in the mirror
To shed a tax deductable tear

Love wit a ten-foot pole
Touched by a ten-foot pole

And the church keeps finding more believers

Scored some stock in the international med
Another plague another continent dead
They’ll stay inside their cage as long as they’re fed
Tuck those skeletons into bed

Love with a ten-foot pole
Touched by a ten-foot pole

Tuppence a bag
Tuppence a bag

And the lord keeps creating more diseases
Track Name: Vancouver

Next time won’t be in this world I think you probably told me something
That I can’t remember
For I took drugs to forget about you
It didn’t work so well you see
I tried to use experience
Couldn’t get it right with you for once
Or return the favor of happiness
So call me friend
Or let it end
I don’t know how to
Take the blame for anything
But I’m begging for a fifty-second chance

Let’s load up the car and bid farewell to agony
Get out of this ghetto and move to Vancouver with me

Wake up next to me
Tomorrow morning we can talk about
How much we miss your mother
And the dark nights in the fruit loop
I won’t make you play psychologist
I won’t manipulate your heart
It’s a perfect heart though it beats too fast
Let’s save the best irony for last

Let’s make love tonight and celebrate diversity
Get out of this ghetto and move to Vancouver with me